Phantom
Hey, TEE people! This is a story I wrote for my Creative Writing class, and I wanted some feedback. Leave all your comments below (duh) and leave editing suggestions here. Thanks! Plot Austin: How…how is that even possible? In this huge crowd of people, today, how did he find me? Phantom stood in the middle of the field, the shadows bending towards it. A group of players rush onto the field and try to tackle it. They get close, but are thrown away by an invisible force. The security guards open fire on Phantom, but their pistols melt in their hands. All the while, it keeps it’s eye locked on Austin’s. {End Scene} a school cafeteria, late at night, four lively seniors are working on decorations for the upcoming pep rally. There are two taller boys, one with dark hair, the other with blonde hair, as well as two girls: one dirty-blonde haired and tall, the other dark haired, dark skinned and medium height. Blonde Girl: Man, it’s getting late; I should head home. Dark-Haired Boy: I’ll walk you home (stands up) Light-haired Boy: Ooh, Austin loves Marissa (makes kissing noises) Austin: Shut up, Jake! Joy, do you have a ride? Joy: Yeah, I drove to school this morning. Austin: Alright cool, guess we’ll see y’all tomorrow. Austin and Marissa pick up their jackets and exit the building, headed for the woods next to the school. They both live in the neighborhood on the other side of the woods from the school. Their trek through the woods takes very little time, seeing as the woods are only a few yards wide. They two of them come to the edge of the woods and step onto the street. Suddenly, all the shadows bend towards a dark, hooded figure, about two blocks down the street. Marissa: What is that?! Austin: I-I’m not sure… we should keep- Voice (in Austin’s mind): You! I know you have it. It wasn’t yours to take! Austin: -uh… ke-keep going. Austin starts to lead Marissa up the road, away from the figure. They hear a low snarling, and turn to see the figure only a few yards behind them. Instinctively, Austin grabs Marissa’s arm and bolts. The figure looks up, revealing its dark purple eyes, shining through the shadows of his hood. {End Scene} Austin and Marissa crash into the living room of Marissa’s home; her parents jump up from their chairs. Marissa’s Mom: What the f**k?! Austin: We were attacked by, well I don’t know what. Marissa’s Dad: Don’t know what it is; don’t they teach you this crap?! Marissa: Dad! Marissa’s Dad: Spit it out! Austin: Well, the Grim Reaper… but that’s not real. Marissa’s Dad: You’ve lost it, kid, go home and rest up. Austin, unwillingly, steps out the door and begins the journey home. After a few minutes, The cold gets to him. He shivers, then feels odd warmth. He turns on his heels, and sees the figure standing not five feet from him. Austin throws a punch, but it catches his fist. Figure: You have courage. Why was this not apparent earlier? (Austin struggles, but doesn’t answer) Oh I see; you were protecting Marissa, now noble (crushes Austin’s arm). Too bad nobility is weakness. Austin: (in pain) I’m not weak. I- Figure: Fine then! Feeble, useless, powerless, take your pick! I, on the other hand, have power- Austin: - beyond my wildest dreams? Cliché, but at least you’re trying. The figure pushes Austin back a few yards, knocking him to the ground. Figure: You’re lucky I still need you! But keep in mind: I’m always watching. The figure dissipates into a cloud of purple smoke. The cloud drifts away into the night. {End Scene} Austin walks into his house, and slowly closes the door. The lights flash on, as the door closes, and his parents are waiting for him, with their arms crossed. Austin’s Dad (angry): Where were you? You said you’d be home by 10. Austin (trying to find words): I… uh… Austin’s Mom (angry): Don’t lie to us! Austin: You want the whole truth? I was attacked! Austin’s Dad (angry): Oh sure, you were attacked! Austin (furious): I was! God! Even in life or death, I’m still the bad guy! Austin storms off into his room, and slams the door. Austin notices a small silver ring on his night stand, glowing. He walks over to it and picks it up. He hears a knock on the door. Austin’s Dad: Austin! Open the door, we need to- Austin: -Dad, my ring! Austin’s Dad (concerned): What about it? Austin: It…it’s glowing (Austin’s dad kicks the door down). Well that was excessive. Austin’s dad walks over to Austin and takes the ring. Austin’s Dad (demanding): Miriam, get in here! Austin’s mom comes into the room, and takes the ring form Austin’s dad. Miriam (afraid): Oh, god… Richard… it’s Richard (serious): Phantom… he’s alive. Austin (confused): Who’s Phantom? Richard (ignoring Austin): We have to go; he can’t find us at Haven. Get our Ready Bags, I’ll pack with Austin. Austin (stunned): Whoa! I’m not packing or going anywhere? Not until I have some questions answered. Richard: Fine, you get one now, then one every hour of the trip. Austin: Is Phantom the shadow guy? Richard silently backs out of the room to contemplate the truth. {End Scene} A small red sedan speeds down a back road at night. Inside, Austin sits in the back, while Richard drives and Miriam sits in the passenger seat. Miriam doses in and out, and Austin yawns a little. He checks the clock, and it says: 2:00. Austin: Okay, it’s been another hour; question time. Richard: *sighs* Fine… what do you want to know? Austin: What’s “Haven?” Richard: Haven is a place, outside of the universe that only beings like us can get to. Austin: “Like us?” Richard: In an hour. Miriam stirs a little, and then fully awakes. Miriam (tired): I’ll answer his last question. Richard: Honey- Miriam (demanding): - I’m answering the question. (Richard back off) Okay… “We” more specifically your father is what’s called an Arch. They are supernatural being with extraordinary powers. They have been around for thousands of years, and their abilities get passed down through the generations. I count as an Arch because of your father and I’s ‘bond’ Austin (grossed out): Okay, okay, WAY too much information! What can we do? Miriam: Levitate objects or ourselves, read minds, influence peoples decisions, etc. Austin: You said: “influence” what do you mean by that? Richard (cutting in): We can manipulate other emotions. It doesn’t actually change their decisions, but it might make them change it on their own. Austin accepts the answer and shuts up. Later… the red sedan comes to a halt on the side of the road. The family gets out, and Richard starts leading them through the forest. Austin stops. Austin (protesting): Whoa! I’m not going through the forest; I want to stay out in the open where I can see Phantom coming. Richard: He can’t see us as well in the midst of the trees. Austin reluctantly follows his father. After a few minutes of trudging through the woods, Austin jerks around, facing a noise he heard. Austin: Dad… Richard: It’s just a squirrel. Austin: How do you even… never mind? (the ring in Austin’s pocket suddenly glows blue, and heats up) Ow... Richard (serious): The ring. (holds his hand out, and Austin hands it to him) Ah... that’s what I thought. We’re close. Then, Phantom jumps down out of the trees, and whips a throwing knife at the group. It hits Miriam directly in the center of her chest. Her limp body falls, and a small blue mist flows from her face into Phantom’s hood, disappearing where his mouth would be. Austin’s jaw drops, as he falls to his knees, tears forming in his eyes. Phantom (sarcastically): Ooh... was that your mother? My bad. Richard forms a ball of pure light in his hands, and launches it at Phantom, who tries to block it, but it burns through his arm; Phantom screams. Phantom: Raziel? It’s been too long. Richard: *his voice suddenly deeper* I’ll not give you the satisfaction you want! Phantom: Really? I think you will *gasps* Richard had stabbed Phantom with a blade of light, and he dissipates into a cloud of purple mist. Austin: M-mom…. She’s… Richard: We have to keep moving! Austin (suddenly feels fine, and stands up): Let’s go! {End Scene} Austin and Richard come to a halt in front of a stone wall. Richard generates a small sphere of light, and pushes it into the wall. Strange symbols of light form on the wall, and take the shape of the door. A section of the wall slides to the side, and an opening is revealed. Richard walks through, and Austin follows. They walk into a completely white room, with a knight with gold armor and spear, along with silver wings. The knight stops them from moving closer to him. Knight: State your name and purpose. Richard: Raziel… to escape the Scythe. The knight steps to the side, and a door appears behind him, and swings open. Austin follows his father inside. They enter a completely gold room, where they find fourteen other people, each with a glowing ring on their fingers. They are all wearing golden armor, similar to the guard outside. Richard: I see we all got the same message. We need direction, Michael? Michael: (the buffest Arch) I think we should stay here until we have more information. Another Arch: Phantom has already attacked our spouses; we can’t wait for him to start attacking the civilians! Michael: Calm yourself, Gabriel. He hasn’t done anything drastic yet. Austin: He killed my mom in front of my eyes, and apparently he did that with others, I vote with Gabriel. Richard: You don’t really get a vote, son. Another Arch: While that may be true, he has the spark… he’ll get a vote soon enough, why shouldn’t he start now? Richard: Raphael, this is my son!- Raphael: And he’ll be an Arch soon.- Another Arch: That’s no reason for him to be fighting yet- Another Arch: That’s not your decision, Metatron- Michael: *his voice booming like thunder* ENOUGH! (a thunder clap is heard) I’ll allow Raziel decide. Richard: Austin stays here, no voting, no interference. Michael: Then that is settled, Austin will stay in Haven while the rest of us fight Phantom and his army. But not yet, he still hasn’t- A guard rushes into the room, alarmed. Guard: Michael, Phantom has attacked a small town, outside of New York. The Archs all gain silver wings, and burst into the air, flying North, leaving Austin all alone. {End Scene} The fifteen Archs, with their silver wings flapping and covered in gold armor, fly over the forest, headed North. Michael leads the group, shining the brightest, but not by much. They suddenly all blast forward at Mach 12, leaving only a streak of light. They come to a halt over a small town, the down town area engulfed in flames. They land, as their wings retract and their armor becomes normal clothes. They see phantom at the end of the street, facing them. Phantom: So, you brought the whole crew, Michael, I… wait... the child. Am I not worthy enough to fight him? (this angers Richard) Oh calm down, I’m not even threatening him yet. Michael: Phantom, stand down and we’ll send you back to Hell peacefully. Phantom: What an interesting offer… I vote no. The Archs create swords of light, and charge Phantom. Phantom jumps backward and easily dodges all the attacks, he then pushes them all away from him. He launches streams of darkness at them, but Raphael generates a force field, blocking the attack. Phantom stomps, sending a shockwave of darkness art them. It hits, and they all fall. He them jumps up and hurls down a barrage of dark blades. The blades pierce through all the Arch’s bodies, and their ‘essence’ is absorbed by Phantom. Austin steps slowly out of them shadows, furious. (Austin): *his eyes start glowing and his voice deepens* That was my father. You’ve already taken my mother; why can’t you leave me alone?! Phantom slowly backs away as Austin gains silver wings and golden armor. Austin creates a massive sword of light, and tosses it at Phantom. Phantom, shocked, can’t move and is sliced in half, his halves fading away into a purple mist. {End Scene} Years later, Austin is attending a football game, the super bowl to be precise. When suddenly all the shadows bend into the center. Phantom stands in the middle of the field, the shadows bending towards him. A group of players rush onto the field and try to tackle him. They get close, but are thrown away by an invisible force. The security guards open fire on Phantom, but their pistols melt in their hands. All the while, he keeps his eye locked on Austin’s. Phantom leaps up into the stands, and tackles Austin., throwing him out into the parking lot. Austin scrambles to his feet and faces Phantom, freaked out. Austin: I saw you die... I did it with my own hands… Phantom: Luckily, that was the assumption; I was merely sent into Purgatory for a few years... until you forgot about the past. Austin: I never forgot… I’ve been waiting. You see, Raphael told me of my destiny. Of how I’m supposed to kill you (Phantom tries to turn away, but Austin appears in front of him) but you know, I didn’t believe him. Mainly because he came to me into a dream. But now that I’ve seen how you work, how the Archs work., I’m ready! Austin glows with an intense light, burning through Phantom’s cloak. His black, scaly skin is singed. Austin pick Phantom up by his throat, and crushes his neck. Phantom’s limp body fades away into a black mist. Austin: My deed is done… but now I feel like the monster… A bright light flares, and the Archs, Miriam, and several other women appear. Austin turns, but can’t find it in himself to embrace his long-dead family. THE END Who's gonna [[User:Brywarrior|for what's right? Who's gonna help us survive? We're in the fight of our lives we're not ready to die. Who's gonna fight for the weak? Who's gonna make them believe? I've got a Hero got a Hero living in me! I'm gonna fight for what's right! Today I'm speakin' my mind! And if it kills me tonight will be ready to die. A Hero's not afraid to give his life. A Hero's gonna save me just in time!]] 00:45, October 31, 2013 (UTC) Category:It's a story Category:Brywarrior Enterprises